I know it's anger and frustration and my way of dealing is stuffing it till I'm numb. The ice cream in my freezer... well it WAS there for a second.... is proof.

I have already called and told her therapy feels shallow and boring and blah, blah, *****, crank, gripe.

Of course we can talk about it on Monday. I KNOW that. There was no point in her calling to say that.

Lately I just want to tell her to shove it. Take the canned, phony empathy and the canned, phony relationship and shove it.

I can't make the sessions work. They aren't long enough or often enough. It just isn't enough. I think I am a selfish hog.

I feel like there is nothing there for me. There is no one there for me. And I feel fololish that I insist on pretending it can be any other way.