Never have I associated my messy house and lack of friends with my ability to be a good mom, but my ex raised that point in mediation today. He said I should have the kids a limited amount of time because I can't provide a stable, family-oriented home environment and he can. So, what does that mean? I need a man and a spotless house to be deemed a fit parent in his eyes? One of the things he raised during our divorce was his fear that I would have TOO MANY friends and couldn't be a good parent. Talk about crazymaking.

Now, in all these years I've never thought those two things could qualify me as a bad parent, and they shouldn't now, either, at least not until Human Services says so, and they've been in my house already and said, yes, it is cluttered but not a hazard. But I'm still left feeling like absolute dog poop because of what he said.

Low self esteem bites, especially when you let other people chip at it away even more. He did it just to be a mean jerk, but it still doesn't hurt any less.