Tonight has been a rough night, I wish could really explain it. I worked all day and it was fine but driving home in my car I was hit with an intense sadness and probably some anger mixed. What gets to me the most is that I don't know why. It just came out of no where.

I'm so frustrated in not knowing why. I want to know why so I can fix it, and I can't even figure that out. Today would have been a good day to see my T but by the time I see her again, this will be over, I'll probably be ok or at least pretend I am. I hate that I can't figure out what it is, what triggered me and why.

Sometimes I feel like this stuff is never going to stop, that I am just some damaged person striving to live to the point where sometimes I don't want to deal anymore. Sometimes I just want to give up. Does it really get any better?