Crystalrose,
Thank you, right now, I don't really have alot of support because I have only shared a little bit of this stuff with 3 people so far; two of them being T's. I have never called my T yet, and would be scared to death to, even though she says I can. I wish I could really ask for help but I always avoid it or turn it away pretending that I'm ok. I hope that changes in time.

Jbug,
I actually have not journalled except for a few dreams because my last T use to like me to do that and bring them to her.
My new T had talked with me about making a memory box. I was not pleased with that in the beginning because I thought it was because she didn't want to hear about my past. I finally told her that, and I had misunderstood her. So I did finally make the box a couple months ago but I have yet to put anything in it. She doesn't know that yet. Maybe I need to work on that. Thank you for your advice.

Soliree,
Thanks for sharing some of your experience. The ups and downs are very frustrating. I feel like I have so many more downs lately. Almost as if I am just starting out, I haven't even scratched the surface to all of this yet. I can't even be completely honest about my feelings with my T yet. I want to be, I just haven't got there yet. It's nice to know that it will get easier at some point. I just hate feeling like this, I try so hard to shove it all back down because it doesn't feel good to me. I think it felt better not feeling much at all.

MUE,
I'm sorry your struggling with some of these issues to. It's horrible when it happens. I will work on the idea you stated about documenting what was going on, where I was ect. Thank you for sharing those thoughts.

I just hope tomorrow is better. I need tomorrow to be better.