Thanks gravvy,
It's hard for me not to know why. I have a hard time just letting things be. The process is really hard to trust but I know I have to learn to do that.
One of my coping mechanisms is to keep myself really busy. But I am finding thats not really helping me because then I never process this stuff. Yet, sitting with it really isn't helping either.
I tend to look at that whole picture, things that I want to change and it becomes very overwhelming. I feel like I wasted half my life before finally trying to deal with my past. Now that I have opened that door, I can't go back. That scares me.