Thanks Malady156,
I have made a change - I SI'd a lot yesterday - I knew I would not be able to stop so I got rid of my tool - I was so dumb to do that - it didnt solve anything....
2 days to go and I dont want it to come anymore - dont want it to be over - want it to be over - confusing arnt I
Hoping it will all be for the best
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts 
its how many times you get back up! 
(Thanks to fenrir for my Picture 
)
When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown,
Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.
by Patrick Overton, author and poet