I id with this. Im in the process of getting myself back into therapy, possibly, I have this feeling of: 'dread the longing and hate the love'.

ughh it is indeed excrutiating for me.

when I have had a sense of shared purpose with T. that is when it was at its best. When that gets collapsed, my focus goes too much on him. I have also felt like this about a woman T too, and I'm not gay iether.

... its such a sensitive situation...