Personally i think that this latest fad of condemning so called emotional affairs as cheating on the level of a physical relationship is rediculous. It may be a breach of trust depending on what is talked about, but equating it with having sex with someone else as being the same level of infidelity just doesnt fly with me. People have been flirting with each other for millenia, now its also via a computer or text messaging more often than not instead of face to face. The people engaging in this are having some need fulfilled that is not being fulfilled in their personal relationships. This doesnt mean its automatically time for ultimatums or divorce. The notion that a person should only communicate with their spouse about everything they are thinking or feeling to me totally discounts human nature and is unrealistic and may well be what leads to a break up. This is a very complex area and not given to facile generalizations that fit every situation. ON another note it is illegal in many states to read anyone else's emails or text messages spouse or not and people have been prosecuted for doing so.