I can totally see how painful that statement would be. But I think you need to separate out a little bit what you're adding to her words from what she actually said. I don't know if she's a good therapist or not. But it sounds like she didn't say drama queen - those are your words. She talked about the part of us that gets used to seeing ourselves as victims - this is an almost universal issue in therapy and certainly in healing from abuse. There's always some tension between exploring and acknowledging your pain and hiding behind it or getting comfort from it. Finding the line, exploring that line, is part of the process of healing. But you can't find it unless you talk about it.

No matter how valid our pain, from the moment we start to articulate it, we feel a shadow lurking there - "am I being self-indulgent?" "am I whining?" "am I a drama queen?" And I suspect that the reason you're having such a pained reaction to her words is because you've been afraid of that shadow from the beginning and it didn't take much for it to be summoned up. But what's to be afraid of, really?