Searching,
Im sorry you are struggling so much with this right now. I can't imagine what its like to have a T just drop you like that. I imagine there must be alot of anger and fear involved.
I hope things work out really well for you with your new T. Sometimes change is very painful but can turn out to be really good. The fact that your new T is going to work on what you need is really wonderful. I know that it's scary as well. It's hard to trust when someone you are supposed to trust lets you down.