(((Echoes))) sounds like your sons visit has put you on edge - I understand about the normalising thing - when I told my old T about some things id done - he said "Ive heard worse" - I know he said it to let me know I wasnt as bad as I thought I was - but it made me feel .... small and pathetic - normalising sucks!!!! One of my brother in laws threatened me a long time ago but when my sister left home and someone turned my electric off in the middle of the night I slept on the sofa facing the front door with a knife - I understand how old fears remain with us - T said I overreacted - probably - but I did what I needed to feel safer and thats what you did with your phone.

I am really sorry that you ar going through such a hard time - I agree with Treehouse that sometimes we push T away when they are exactly what we need - Im glad T left you a supportive message - take care