I think it helps a lot to start by getting as clear as you can about just what the problem is. That means, what it is for you, not what it might be for someone else who reacts the way you do; and what it is for you now, not what it seemed to be for you some other time.

First of all, look and see if the problem is that something is wrong with you -- or that you think something must be. Those are not the same at all, and it's easy to give yourself a lot of unnecessary grief if you confuse them.