Does anyone just feel hateful inside? I have so much hate inside of me it hurts. I hate my mom abuser and she's dead so then I get the guilt feelings.

My T wants me to journal about this hate this week and we're going to talk about it next session. I started writing and didn't realize there was so much hate inside me that it just tore me up writing. Had to stop.

This hate is totally isolating me. I don't want to be around anyone because I feel so mean inside. Outside everyone thinks I'm always happy. In my head I pick on people. I get irritated around happy people. Especially at work when they are laughing and talking about their family life.

I'm so miserable inside. I don't know how to really feel happy. This is the first I really started feeling anything.

I just want to feel good. I have doubts.