Hi Raceka,

Anger and hate are part of healing. You said this is the first time you are feeling anything, so it's no surprise it's these strong negative feelings that pop out first, especially after being abused.

The only way through these mean, angry, hateful feelings is THROUGH them. You have to feel them and learn how to deal with them as best you can, (your therapist will help you with this) until you get to the next phase of the healing process.

I have found that the healing process of mental health issues are like the 5 stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. The process seems to continue througout my life, but at different levels and about different things. But it gets easier as time goes on and the emotions aren't as intense.

But yes I went through a period of intense anger and hate towards almost everyone around me. Even, just as you described, people I didn't know but who were talking and laughing about their lives. I was hurting, in major depression, watching and listening to other happy people did not make me feel any better. I think your therapists advice to journal is a good one. I've found journaling helpful at different periods in my life. The anger and hate feelings will lessen.