Thanks everyone. I just have a few moments but...

notme9- Yes, she was not a good match in person. It's funny because on the phone I really liked her and her credentials were "right". But she was a real piece of work and not right at all.

treehouse- Asking for what I need has been a barrier for me. Interestingly, my old T heavily encouraged me to ask for what I needed. It was not a bad thing to do and I think what has helped me to be so straight forward at this point. However, at this point I feel like I KNOW what it is that I need and have asked for it. Ultimately, I am just freaked out to get it. And I wonder if it will be taken or conditional or something. Only time will tell. I hope that this becomes a place in which what I ask for or need is met with a "that's easy". What a change that would be for me.

Chaotic- At this point what my DH and I have decided is that we will no longer work with the new T as a couple. We both have reservations with doing that. We have an appt to meet with a new couple's T in a few weeks, but we are both feeling ambivalent about couples work right now. We are in a good place in our coupleship and have been waning for awhile in couples work anyway. Me working with the new (couple's) T feels like a natural progression from the other work. I think if we did get to a place again where we really need couple's work (and the new couple's T isn't right) she would be happy to see us or refer us to someone who we would be able to work with.

P7- Thanks. Asking for what I need is a progression for me indeed.

hanginon- Yes there is a lot of anger and fear involved. I have been trying to really process through my grief regarding the abrupt termination, using my supports, feeling what I need to feel or am feeling, etc. After the session on Sat with the new T I felt all stirred up again. Re-angry about this whole situation and how messed up it is and fearful of the whole process and what seems like the inherent uncertainty of it. I don't feel like I am starting over completely though. The work that I was doing and had done is still with me and I am thankful to be able to be able to pick up with someone who already knows me a little.

Sunrise- The T I met with on Tues was a candidate for my future work with a T and she was terrible. I can see how my post was confusing though. (Actually I am confused reading back through about the old T and the new T and the couple's T and all the interviewed T's.) It has been one big knot of T's in the last month, that is for sure. What you wrote was very validating about how "criminal" it was for my old T to do what she did. It was terrible thing without warning and when I think about I get so angry. I just have no words still. Another reason I needed to find a new T. I do think that this will be a good fit and am happy how it has worked out. It is interesting how it will go from a couple thing to an individual one, but I do think it's going the right way.

Mixed up- Thanks for the words of support.

Sannah- Thanks for the support. Yes, these feelings go back, way back. I am sure that this next step and therapy will be all about uncovering and deconstructing/reconstructing what has gone into my thoughts and self concept.

Peaches- thanks for the support. I was thinking about trust this morning while thinking about everything that has happened in the last month. I think trust will be a reoccurring theme in my therapy in so many ways. Trust might actually turn out to be the theme of my therapy for the time to come...

Everyone The support here has really been huge for me. I appreciate it very much.

~Searching