Quote:
Originally Posted by exoticflower
 I fired my T. I told my T that I am not okay. Well then she thinks because I am doing a speech about child abuse, I am in my final stages of healing from my child abuse. Then she tells me to think about whether I don't want to be well because I want to be a victim. WTF? I have pretended my whole life that I was okay, I am good at appearing okay, but I haven't healed, not even close.
How can I process my trauma with my T who thinks I am being a victim drama queen? I was just beginning to be able to trust her with my feelings, and she pulls this. I don't need therapy games. I am not going to pretend to be more messed up more than I am to get help. I just don't think this is a hurdle in the therapy relationship I can get over. My trust in sharing my deepest feelings are gone. I don't feel like starting over either, with her or anyone else.
I am thinking of just forgetting therapy all together, it seems to have messed me up more than ever. |
I don't know you, so what follows are just observations based on what you've written in your two posts on this subject in this thread. I'm throwing them out there for your consideration -- if they strike a chord, they might be a challenge for you; if they're obviously not applicable in your case, you've lost nothing beyond the time it's taken you to read this. And if you're not in a mood to be challenged, I hope you'll stop reading now, in case you might become upset on reading them.
In the sections of your original post quoted above, it sounds as though you've just made yourself into the victim of your therapist. This is something she has done to you. I don't see anything in either post which relates back to the part you play in this situation.
A crisis is sometimes defined as being made up of three elements:
A precipitating event
An individual's perception of that event
A failure of coping methods
In this case, the therapist's remarks were the precipitating event. That's the only part over which you have no control -- you can't control what anyone else does, only how you react to it. In this case, it sounds as though your reaction may have been a bit extreme -- quitting therapy due to one perhaps poorly thought out set of remarks.
Working on the relationship between yourself and your therapist is valuable, because you bring many of the same reactions into other spheres in your life -- whether or not you're aware of it. While a therapist may be able to contain and process a disproportional reaction to her comments, there are others in your life who may not be able to -- or may not be willing to.
I guess when you get right down to the bottom of it, the question to ask is this: do you like the results you're getting from the way you do things now or would you like to change the results? And if you want to change those results, how would you go about doing so?
For me, the answers to those questions have been: "No, I don't like the results I'm getting from my current behavior patterns" and "I'll bet therapy will help -- too bad it's so damned painful, especially when my therapist screws up." (I'm very fortunate -- my therapist will admit when she makes a mistake -- although she's far more likely to say she's "f---ed up.")