Remember you're doing what you can when you can. You're not bad. You make mistakes just like everyone else. You can tell little Manda this. Maybe instead of being mean to yourself you can say, oops. i'm sorry. Do over. i understand getting into a loop like you describe...knowing better but doing something anyway. i think that's the nature of our parts and having some awareness of them. You know how you want to be, you hear others, and somehow you act differently than how you want to act...i could be wrong here, but i interpret it as being more than those two parts. There's you, there's little Manda, and there's the part that does something you think is bad. All we can do is try to be as understanding as possible of all our parts. Self talk can help.

Take what makes sense and leave the rest. i'm sure no expert in any of this.