I feel totally crazy. I love T, I really do. He is so steady and consistent and stable and caring. He literally gives me everything I need. I know he loves me.

And all of that makes me want to quit therapy. I don't think I can STAND another appointment. I just can't stand going and being accepted and loved and cared for. It doesn't make sense to me. It's not what I'm used to. He knows all of the ugliest parts of me, all of the most shameful things that have happened to me, and he sits there and loves me. I hate it.

I know this doesn't make ANY SENSE. It doesn't make any sense to me either. I just don't think I can stand to go back and do it anymore. The stuff we are talking about is too hard anyway.

Ugh.