I think you journal don't you Echoes? That helped me a lot. I think I finally got it when I concentrated on what I wanted, period, rather than necessarily what I wanted from T. I let her do her own thing, follow/run along beside/behind/in front of me, whatever she could manage, LOL, while I tried to chase whatever I was working on for myself. That seemed to work out.

Initially I had trouble relating to her so worked on that, worked on talking/listening to her when it was difficult/impossible. For a very long time (4-5 years) I was mostly "reporting" to her about things that had happened in me/thoughts and feelings, between sessions but then I decided to do a month or two trial of not writing her letters between sessions, only talking to her for the time of the session, working hard to recognize that that was the only time I truly had "her" and got out of my head and into one-on-one with her.

Before I could relate to her though I use to rehash my sessions in my head and found that I "flagged" places that were difficult (to think about later) or where something happened that I couldn't deal with at the time, etc. and I truly would work with those things on my own between sessions and learn new stuff (which I would then make myself tell her). So you might try to set up some sort of flagging system for yourself, things that you don't deal with at the time, getting so you can "see" them later? I went from there to recognizing/dealing with them when they actually came up, long slow process but uttimately what I wanted, to live my life while I was living it, same time period? :-)