Tree,
I seem to be cycling through a bit of a down phase this evening. I seem to go through a cycle of: I really want to talk to T RIGHT THIS MINUTE!-->I'm fine--> I hate my life-->*&^*# PAST!, why me?--> I can fix this myself, I don't need help--> It's all good, I'm stronger for it--> Why the heck am I in therapy again?-->, I should have asked for help with this during the session-->..... I REALLY want to talk to my T NOW......

I'm sure mine mood tonight is related to my upcoming appointment.

What you seem to be describing is the frustrated..."It too hard, I'm never going to heal, I want to give up" loop.