Thanks everyone.

At my appointment with my pdoc, I asked him if he thought I was "stuck" or using depression to not do things. Or like my daughter said, that I was using depression as an excuse to not read the Bible, when I was very capable of reading other books.

My concern has been mostly so much sleeping. It's gotten so much better since sunny warm weather has been happening, that I don't know how I could have been so tired and wanting to sleep for hours on end. I've more energy now because I'm doing more and feeling good about doing stuff. Nice kind of circle to "be stuck in".

My pdoc said "no, that I was being avoidant" and that only I know if I'm using depression as an excuse. And I'm thinking he is right. I've been avoiding housework and that sort of stuff. But I've started to pull my share around here again. And I'm not doing Bible reading right now because I'm making other choices. Not because I can't concentrate, or that I'm depressed. I'm praying and have a sense of spirituality different from my daughter's. Though I respect her thoughts. I do have hope again.

My best friend irl, Brenda and I talked about some of this today after my appointment, and she sees me as a realist, and that I do what I can...she's a recovered alcoholic who has been through Hell and back, but not had much of an issue with depression.

You guys just made me feel like I'm taking care of my own stuff. Thanks for sharing/ I really appreciate that.