i need my meds imo...but they make me sick

.....everyone thinks i need them in real life, my carnal mind, my physical body.....everything...but, something they say is not real......the physical and phycological pain is real though...I am unable to hide it
help
I looked in the mirror this morning......I went without prescribed regimen....I went without it all....I looked high, bloodshot eyes, etc
help
showered, medicated...have temp relief
help