Hi reina,

back again. .LOL had some after thoughts.. AND i reread your list a bit more.

S-L-O-W-L-Y.
im a bit of a speed demaon... but when it comes to typing and writting im a snail.

when I first started writing on forums it would take me hours to write a single post . either to much or just getting side tracked going on and on. and or just trying to harness my thoughts to come out right getting things to come out sequentiallly . i also tend to repeate myself .

Im not sure if thats a symptom or quirk of have ADHD or not.

the list you made is spot on actually now that I read it again. Id say the forgetting of appointments things to do is every day for me . always doing double trips . lots of walking I tend to not write things down . Not a good thing to do . or I write it down o the nearest scrap of paper and toss it somewhere and I cant remember even when I tell myself I will. when I place it in the location,

I guess if you read all of this it almost sounds Like I have more than one personality .. I don't just one .

what got me Back here was your wanting to return to school.

absolutely get this adresed before . you do go back.

not finding this before I went to grad schol cost me big time .
I went from working a a gardener to working as a gardener . I was in school for landscape architecture .

papers .. I could not do papers even though I had a tutor I could not d an out line I coudn't get things to be sequential in order to make sence.

Do we here .. jump around ? ... doomy doom dum do.... jump around .. domy doom doom doom... says Robin williams..

so I had seven incompletes over three years time. I had major untold worries about wroking in an office because ..
when I m siting and reading .and working just usig a pencil my body lights up like a pin ball machine .
i need to be ..MOVING..

a novel .. of course I can focus . thats because novels have lots of action drama. visual words . I don't get bored.

scientific mundane work / writting .

oh two sentaences maybe .. lets read those again.

ah... okay one more time ..

argHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

lets close the book and try this later.... uh huh....

its not lack of inteligence that causses this . its not visual enough or creatively worded to keep me intrested. I need the stimulation.

I've always had variety in my jobs.

lots of movement. different people .. I have been very consistant and long term in my palces to live and work . as long as I have this variety . I have always had two jobs . I don't spend to long in any one place . even my apartment is just loked at as a pit stop . not a hang out .

So being in an office day after day after day . just freekes me out .

so that was a part of my lack of "I want this" in school. I didn't give it my all i was very hessitant ad down right concerned i would survive in such a setting . plus beng inside for me has always felt confining .

the struggle with presentaions and papers and one and inapropriate proffessor and a few other student problems was enough dramma to work on in therapy . plus a few clients . shall we say at least four . seting boundries .

was enough to miss the adhd completely . I didn't know anything about it . It just was mentioned by one therapisst as we ended many years after I failed with school because i didn't finish . The next one took me where I really did not need to go .

so here I am . I thought my problems in school were I don't know .. just me being stupid or hopelessly pinballmachine what am I gonna do . how can I become a professional.

I belive I have my answer... I'm like a race horse still in the starting gate hoping for the gate keeper to fling it wide open......

in stead i have let these other people who for thier own needs keep me where they think I belone
shame on them .

and not feelig secure at all with finding the gate keeper...


when the thought of teaching came to me as a possible profession or eve as a substitiue I would get scared. I coud not see myelf in front of a classroom .

ahhh.. ahh. what asignments .. where are we now? oh I had that concept that name ..darn I just can't say it . maybe tomorrow boys and gals ..
yeah ..right . they woud be answering for me... there woud be more than gigles coming from the seats ..

right.. not a black board teacher .. but I can teach movement.......

I scored 29 on the adhd score here at PC.

I love the you scored "severe for ADHD ". you "might " have it .. sigh........

so any way ..

yes.. find out if you have ADHD before school . definately .. I hope you will be heard . and if not . then you just are on your own and suport groups and books .. no meds.

Thanks for giving me the oportunity to share and have another write up to take with me when ever I do see a phychiatrist . Im going to hand her the goods and say .. here , you deside..

and maybe she will prescribe me the meds I can't afford.

Straterra is 300.00 a month. Hope you have insurancce.

gathering up all my writting shoud be a task in itself.....:P

whos H*** bent on gettig this right . and its consumming my time right now...

Patricia