well i found a few different websites and this was the general consensus:

1. most people have the oral form by adulthood which means most people already have antibodies against the virus so it won't pop up in 2 different spots.

2. the most common form of oral herpes doesn't like the genital region, it prefers the mouth area for whatever reason.

3. the chances, at the highest, of shedding the virus to your partner through oral sex if you have an open sore on your mouth at the time never goes past 15%. and if you don't have a sore on your mouth it's like a 3% chance.

we talked about it because him and I both get cold sores. and I know that sometimes you can have them on the inside of your mouth, on your chin or anywhere else and maybe not know you even have an open sore on you at the time. so we discussed it and went over the possible consequences and we just decided to not perform that on each other if we think we might be coming down with one (like if i don't get a good night's sleep or am feeling stressed and could possibly get one at any time) and will wait at least a week after the sore is completely gone to do anything like that.

thanks for your feedback.