SandyWeb,

I understand what you are going through too. It seems like a rollercoaster that never ends & no way to get off. It is much easier to stay away from people than to force ourselves to act as though nothing is a problem. I guess there is something good about having to be with others is that you at least have 1 foot grounded in what is your real world.

I'm also sure how hard it is to remember the aniversary day of your attempted suicide. I can relate to that because I almost was sucessful in one of my attempts...which landed me in ICU in a coma & on a breathing machine because I had quit breathing. I can remember the it happening, but everything around it is just another black hole in my life. That may be good since I can't put an anniversary date to it.

I can also relate to "It's been one heck of a year. So many cops, so many trips to the hospital, and one nasty night I that I still only remember parts of". There was a time where I think every sherriff in town along with the paramedics ended up at my home. Unfortunately that period went on for about 4 years & yes, I can only remember parts of that time too. Things seemed to straighten out for a few years until the trauma hit & then I fell apart again & am fighting my way through everything I went through.

If you don't have a psychologist, I would really suggest getting one. They are always there for you & once they get to know you, they can work with you through all your really bad times. Family & friends, along with us here at PC will always be here for you & this is a wonderful group that provides more support than I ever could imagine., but I have found that it is also important to have a psychologist that knows the subties of PTSD & knows how to help us work through the issues surrounding it.

I also agree with Sky in that you might want to hang out here a little before you have the problem so that we can hopefully help you through your rough time. You will find that even though we all have different situations that have put us into this position, that the symptoms are similar.

we are here for you whenever you are in need,
Debbie