My first rule of thumb.....don't get romantically involved unless you know it's the right person you want to spend the rest of your life with......that way you won't be getting romantically involved with someone you don't like or doesn't really like you. The reason it's hard to let go of someone your are romantically involved with is because it's supposed to be that way....romantic involvement isn't supposed to be recreational......romantic involvement is supposed to be for marriage or at least a committed relationship no matter what the new moral values state. When you put romantic involvement into a recreational setting then you need to look at it that way otherwise, one needs to hold onto the values they want to have with the romantic involvement......you can't send mixed messages & end up on the winning end.

There were many guys I dated in college that I knew weren't the right person (because of personality issues) that I never wanted to have a committed relationship with.....I would never get romantically involved with them either.....if they pushed.....I left.

If he was trying to instill patience in you from the beginning of the relationship, then that was something about you that he wasn't satisfied with from the beginning & probably knew that unless that changed in you, he would never be interested in a long term committed relationship because he would never have been happy with you. There are some things where changing to fit what the other person would like, isn't a bad thing if it is a real improvement & not just some superficial idiot idea. Like my desire for my husband to be financially responsible.....definitely not an idiot idea, but something of real value needed as a partner.

Unless you want nothing more than recreational relationships, it is important to know what you want in the other person & don't waste your time messing around with anyone who doesn't meet those criteria. It has nothing to do with expecting too much......it's has to do with what choices you want to make with your life....if you want to have a committed relationship & you don't have standards, chances are that you will end up finding so many things you don't like in the person after you have committed to the relationship that you will end up not being able to stand them. I believe that we are better off alone than committing to someone who is incompatible.

Just personal relationship views based on 56 years of watching some relationships fail & some succeed
Debbie