I'm having a hard time accepting a diagnosis of Bipolar NOS when I've felt the way I do all my life. For me, this is normal. The mixed state rapid cycling isn't normal but that didn't start until I started meds.

So how do I accept what I've always thought was normal is now mental illness? I want to blame the meds. I want to say the Pdoc is wrong.

I want to say my quirks are just poor character, lack of strength or discipline, bad judgement. What ever it is, it's a lack of something in my person.

I'm tired of the threats of being sent to the psych hospital if I should get very depressed again. Why can't I just sleep it off?

Sorry for the rant but I am just so tired of being observed and evaluated like a bug in a microscope.

I'm just so tired of everything--I want to dump all the meds and Pdoc evaluations and start over. I think I'd return to my normal state.