I have found that increased stress causes more dissociation here. Also, it seems that the greater the trigger, the more I dissociate as well (and the combination can send me away for long periods). As I've gained more awareness, it sometimes doesn't feel as normal, but I've been doing it forever so I tend to think of it as normal. I just didn't realize what it was called. So, while it might not be normal overall, it seems to be normal for me.

I often don't know when I dissociate to the point of disappearing and so I tend to just keep going where I end up. There have been too many times to count that I've started doing something and end up some place else doing something else, but I usually just keep doing what it looks like I've been doing, once I figure it out. I don't know that that is very healthy but it's effective in keeping going, I guess.

As for floaty type feelings, I actually am okay with that. I want to say I like it, but that probably sounds odd. When I'm in that state, it feels like nothing can get me because I'm too far away and so I feel safe. I guess it helped during times when I couldn't get to a safe place so my brain made a place for me to be safe in the circumstance. While it gets in the way a lot more now, it still feels safe to me. Though maybe it just feels familiar, I'm not sure.

Staying present is really hard work, in my opinion. It feels like I have to concentrate so hard to stay present through something completely. I don't think I succeed, but I do try more now. It wears me out, lol.

Be gentle to yourself Manda, if you can. Your brain is coping as it best knows how. It takes time to learn new coping skills.