mixedup,

Don't follow the path that lies before you. Instead, veer from the path - and leave a trail...

I think this is a wonderful saying.....just exactly what you need to do......& your uncut lawn is a good place to leave that trail that can be seen...lol.

I know how easy it is to feel desperate enough to want to do anything you can to get the work done that is staring you in the face. Feeling overloaded in the first place & not enough money to hire anything to be done....having to do it all yourself or it won't get done. These are the exact words that have come out of my mouth many times since I left my husband 2 years ago.

I bought a farm in Kentucky (from California) after my Mother died. Plans were to sell or rent that house & he would end up moving here.....those were the plans I was thinking when I bought the farm. When I came here to get it ready to move into, I realized just how bad our relationship was & how much better off I was not being around the buttons he kept pushing to cause such extreme anger in me. For the first time in 33 years, I felt good about myself & realized what a fight it had been all that time. I put some qualifications on his moving here. Then I actually gave him a chance that following Christmas. He failed miserably....I kicked him out after only a couple of weeks. Knowing. So now I have a huge house that needs work, 10 acres of land that most just needs mowing with the lawn tractor I bought.

What price was I willing to pay for help.....NONE. I wouldn't bring him back into my life for anything......he nailed that decision shut when I got a certified letter from the IRS about the letter they had sent out almost a year before (that he never told me about) stating the huge error that had been made on the taxes & all the money that was owed. He got the letter all right......but he still wasn't open about it when I confronted him. Talk about anger.....yep, it was money I owed from a mistake me made on my inheritance......When I had the money, he didn't bother telling me.....not until the money was gone & I had no way of paying the bill did I find out about it & it wasn't from him, it was from a letter that had been forwarded to my address in KY because when he came here at Christmas I had all mail forwarded. If I hadn't had the mail forwarded, I still wouldn't have known about it because he still wouldn't have told me & would have hid the letter from me. What a price to pay for staying married to a jerk for 33 years.

There comes a time where being alone & taking care of yourself is so much better than the alternative. Keeping him out of your life with the issues he has put on you is your only solution. Who carres about the grass. It will get cut when the weather allows......rain comes & rain goes.....soon there will be a good day when you have the chance to mow the yard, or you will find some money to have it done.

You know you need to not take the path that lies before you with your husband on it......you need to take that new path you are trying to get onto completely & make that new trail away from him as fast as possible.

You can do it....it takes determination & sometimes you just have to put blinders on as to all the work you have to do alone because it can become overwhelming.......but it really is the only answer & I know you know that from what you say in your post. Sometimes you just need reinforcing from others that is really is the right way to go.

Yes, it is the right way to go,
Debbie