Sweetie, you are not a bad mother....you are doing what you can with the resources that you have, both for your son and yourself. If you were doing nothing or worse, encouraging the behaviour well, you would probably have to reassess.

Gosh, if I could count the times I wanted to run away. I was a single mother and mentally ill and i often felt that I was pure poison for my son. But i loved him more than life itself even if I wasn't the greatest parent and thats what got me through. I am impatient, intolerant and do not suffer fools gladly so we clash a bit sometimes because I have no idea how to "play". I do try to come down to his level. He is 14 now. I have gotten help for him at around the same age as your child. For different reasons but trauma nonetheless.

He is great kid. Smiles alot, has good friends, loves animals and has a strong environmental conscience. Some of my values have rubbed off onto him and the bad stuff, not so much. He teaches me how to be less angry!!

Your baby will be fine and don't beat yourself up that you have little tolerance........smile even if it is fake and discipline when you need to.......the geniune feelings will come back because fundamentally you love your little one unconditionally despite the anger or frustration you might feel. At the end of the day, what we fear is that our children are mirrors of ourselves........some of that is true but don't forget that they have their own personalities and processes. Get the help when you can and have faith......

You are good, loving mum........its all good.