Hey ((((((((((Jessika)))))))))))))

I'm going to agree with Muffy here.

If you're afraid to directly 'speak' to your T - print off your post here. You're not a bad mother, but you may be putting undue pressure on your baby. Which would just mean a lot of regret and stuff for you.

Are you on any antidepressants or something else to deal with your feelings and stuff, that's not weed or another illicit substance? Perhaps that's something to discuss with your doctor/therapist. It might help you deal with things.

I don't think they'll put you away. After all, many people smoke/drink and do far more harm to themselves when bearing children and no bad legal repercussions befall them. They'd only do it if they thought you posed a "life or death" risk to your child. Also, dependent on the country you're in - an unborn child doesn't have rights unless it can survive outside of the womb itself. Or something like that...

Anyway: Long story short (sorry!) ... talk to your therapist, talk to your doctor. They're there to help you. Perhaps looking into outpatient treatment for addictions would be useful??