I know...

Abi canceled seeing me today, so I won't see her until Friday... Great. She obviously thinks I don't need the support. Heh. Sam's getting the support she needs, security's keeping an eye on her during the night and the support staff are talking to her everyday to make sure she's okay, which I'm glad about. She might not be, but I think she appreciates it. She apologised to me this morning and I said don't worry about it, I understand. She seemed a bit happier after that and she knows where I am if she needs to feel safe/have someone to talk to.

I don't know if I'll ever be able to care for myself like I did her...
I got so drunk last night. I feel utterly crap today and that's not because of the drinking... It's because of the OD mixed with the drinking. So many people have told me to go to hospital, said I need medical attention aswell as some Mental Health help and that maybe it's best if I get sectioned, or just admitted to a psych ward.

I almost went to hospital and still am tempted to go, but I'm too scraed... It means Connor will find out and go mad and stuff and his parents will find out and go mad and I don't want to put that stress on Connor. He's got enough on his plate as it is... I don't know. If I don't feel any better tomorrow, I'll go to hospital or the drs and get checked over.

I'm fed up I ache, I feel sick, people are being nasty and it's getting to me bigtime. I can't do this.