not sure I am doing this right, just joined but if you dont' trust your Pdoc, you have to change him/her. I totally understand your frustration! I was lucky & had a great MD who helped me find a different Pdoc. I self-diag. when I was 15 years old. Knew when I was 7 that I was different. It's like my gay friends knew they were gay when they were kids. I just didn't know the name for this until I was reading about Lord Byron & Van Gogh when I was 15. I told my father "this is me." Dad said he was like that & so was my grandmother (especially throwing temper fits). I saw 12 therapists (!!) between the age of 18 & 45. At 18, I was diag. as schitzophrenic but 3 months later, that Pdoc said "it was a spiritual crisis" what the heck? I went on to college & every Spring, had the speedy, can't sleep, can't stop doing 100 things at once. I was real high functioning until I was 43. Had my art in gallerys, poems published, working at a university, getting promotions (which I turned down finally due to exhaustion). ANYWAY, I got diag. but then the Pdoc was a jerk about meds. He insisted Lithium was the only thing for me, despite blood tests which showed it was hurting my liver. My MD helped me find someone else & that Pdoc, along with a MEDICATIONS SPECIALIST (an RN who knows all about Psych' meds) got me on such a good combo of meds, Depakote, Seroquel & b vitamins. Now I can usually sleep very well. Suicide is no longer a temptation & I used to think of that all the time.