Quote:
Originally Posted by reina29
the minute I have to go do something else, he gets mad. He is happy when he has my complete attention but if I turn my attention elsewhere, he is instantly upset and throws a tantrum.
He also tends to try and bully me during our play sessions. He likes to control them. If we are playing a game, he tells me all the rules and constantly gets upset with me when I don't do things exactly his way.
If we are reading, he names the book and then instantly seems to stop paying attention or will tell me I am reading it wrong.
I try really hard to give positive attention but I am so worn down by the negative things he does that I have no energy left and no will left in which to force myself to be positive.  |
Quote:
Originally Posted by reina29
Typically when he lashes out it is an immediate withdrawal of privileges. Nothing else seemed to work - time out never works, it just serves to make him angrier and I don't spank or use physical punishment. Withdrawing privileges is hard though too.
He doesn't seem to be able to do anything without my direction, not even the simplest task. His teacher says he is the same at school.
He lied to me the other night about eating his vegetables and I saw his celery in the trash (I had walked away from the table). I gave him a second and third chance to tell me the truth and he still maintained the lie so I removed his legos from his room and cancelled his snacks for the week. He was upset at first but seems to be handling it ok now.
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I tend to lean toward understanding rather than punishing. I look at raising a child as helping him/her to develop. Everything that I do with my children has that overarching goal. I think children do every behavior for a reason. I try to figure out what is going on with them.
When you say that he can't do anything without your direction it makes me wonder if he has enough autonomy or if you give him direction on how to do everything?
I also thought that he is copying someone when he is being bossy playing with you. Is he copying someone? From raising my girls I realized that they learned almost everything from me.
My first thought when he gets upset when he loses your attention is that he isn't getting enough of it. I am sorry that it is so difficult for you!
How was your childhood with your parents?