Ideally, the third item would be the goal, but I'm talking power struggle right now where one person is saying get togethers with large groups of people is a better environment than family time. I'm really not seeing how you can say one is better than the other. They're both important, but at the current time, based on our kids' ages (12 and 14) I tihnk it's more important to grasp the family time before you lose that chance.