Thanks wantstoheal and silver_queen. Hugs are much appreciated right now.

Thanks Mandy. You gave some good input. I'll try to keep it in mind. I want so much for this to not reach an impasse where we have to hire another lawyer and get every detail of our lives investigated. The ex won't bend on anything. He insists that he is right and I am wrong, PERIOD. That's why I want to give counseling a try. We can hold off the investigation if we can do that, but I said yesterday that I'd rather have a huge investigation than back down to the ex again, since backing down before is what got us to this point.

I'm not saying he has to give in to all of my requests, but if he could at least acknowledge and respect them, that would be a huge improvement. That's not going to happen without counseling, but he won't go for it. I know I have to give him free reign too, but right now I can't do that comfortably, not with the alcohol and hitting background I'm still working on understanding.