Quote:
Originally Posted by Xtree
I find when I get emotional, upset, or have anxiety I cannot think, I shut down. I can never win an argument because I lose my thoughts. I just simply cannot keep up and because of this I never win an argument or defend myself. Obviously it is difficult for my H because I cannot express myself and he does not understand. I just had a couples session and I felt lost. Then i could not calm myself down. I had to leave and it took hours before I could go home.
How do you get better control of your emotions?
Has this every happened to you? Thanks.
Xtree
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Hi X tree,
yes I have since I can remeber . For me I now see its a combination of I belive what happens to people with ADHD & those with being in a situation where they could not respond nor were shown how to because of reprisal .
I get flooded with info when Im trying to explain something and it doesn't have any emotionalality involved .
If Im feeling the need to defend
this makes things more so and I either go blank or burst out in anger . thats the flight or fight.
When I try to tell a person thats not right, your veiwing me wrong or I didn't do that all the details come rushing in from the present times this happened in the past and I just can't get it out.
Right now I get defensive when trying to tell doctors that how they are seeing me is not what I experience for me . I get over whelmed with all thats rushing in and I get frustrated and angry . I may cry even.
So just a few minutes ago I was asking myself . What should I do when I get like that . Rather than rush in and defend myself .
I thought all I have to do is say .
"I feel defensive right now ." and stop.
just that .
Im not sure what would happen next from the other person .
Im going to try it The next time someone fires something toward me and I get that racing for an answer and get flooded.
Sometimes thoughts woud go away so far that I coud not retrieve them if it was about some kind of trauma . Thats a bit different than staying in a discussion that may be more of a heated one . or argeument.
you can also say Im going blank now or Im blocking . I always can process afterwards . And then its difficult because Im ready but no ones available to hear it and the feelings are there so I have to either find a way to process them else where and save them till the next time .
Sometimes I let them slip away as an avoidence because I don't want the emotions to come up again.
Patricia