Reina, your honesty is wonderful! I am sorry that you didn't get the upbringing that you deserved. I lacked in that department too!

Yes, I can see how your OCD would limit his ability to act on his own. Can you look at him as a child who needs to develop in his own way? Autonomy is so important. He needs to figure out how to interact in his world and if he is holding back because he is getting too much direction from you this will affect him. He needs to learn how to do things on his own as his level of development allows him. This is also tying in, in my mind to his controllingness while you play. He did learn this from you it sounds like. This might also tie into the respect issue. When you overdirect him this is violating his boundaries and this isn't respectful. He really will respect you when you really respect him. Respecting him would be really seeing him for who he really is. You might see his irritating parts and when you respond to him in a punishing way he sees this as not respecting who he really is and what he really needs. I had to learn how to really respect my children too.

You can learn to play. I had to learn this too! I recovered from anxiety BTW...........

Are you in treatment for your OCD?