poohbear,

i had parts whose job was to keep me quiet through threats or mistreatment. somehow this part must feel threatened by your getting help.

when i could understand that my mean alters had been doing what they did to help me (not that i am saying it is ok to hurt you, but it was their job and they used to do it to keep you safe from abusers).

at some point your T maybe able to help you and this part come to an agreement and this part may become a protector instead of one who hurts you.

i'm sorry it is so bad and scary just now. hugs,

leslie and pixies