{{{{{{{{{{{{{{4ever}}}}}}}}}}}}}} No doubt you've heard that any healthy relationship is a two-way street. Another one that I don't particularly like because I have to accept responsibility, also, is "It takes two to tango" or "There's two sides to every story." Cliches, yes, but there's truth in them. Your failed relationships weren't all your fault so don't take full responsibility for the failure.

Something I learned while in therapy is that we attract people that have some of the same disfunctions that our family of origin had. That is what we know, and that system, with all it's faults is what we think is right.

For instance, I grew up in a very controlling environment and I translated that as "love." My first husband was even more controlling and abusive than my family of origin was. I learned that control is NOT love; it's abuse. My second husband has given me total freedom and I translated that into indifference. His "indifference" has become abusive at times because all the responsibility, including his, is dumped on me; opposite ends of the spectrum, you see.

Think about it. I'm sure you'll start to see that it wasn't ALL your fault.