Quote:
Originally Posted by salukigirl
... it's like, when i get angry, i have no control over myself. i feel like im a stranger watching myself get so amazingly angry over nothing
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Some years ago I used to volunteer helping to set up and rearrange rooms for long, intensive weekend workshops. I loved doing it, but it was also very arduous; we were often at the site for 18 or 20 hours at a stretch, with lots to be done and breaks for eating and napping few and far between.
During one such workshop, the participants were outside taking a break and the rest of us were rushing to finish rearranging the room before they got back. I felt like I was running on borrowed energy and was looking forward to getting my part of the job finished so I could sit back and recover a little during the next phase. I'd been working on something in one corner of the room and needed to get something from the opposite corner, maybe 60 feet away. I was walking very fast across the room so I wouldn't fall asleep on my feet.

There in the exact middle of the room was one stray chair all by itself, right in my way.

I was completely outraged!

That chair seemed to be standing in that exact spot for no other purpose except to force me to change course and walk around it.

I was on the point of kicking it across the room (quite likely breaking my foot in the process) when it somehow occurred to me that that might not be the most efficient solution to my problem of getting across the room and back and finishing my job.
So as to
salukigirl's question, "
Has anyone else ever felt like this", I'd say: yes. As to what to do about it -- I have no advice beyond inviting it to "somehow occur" to you -- as it did to me then -- that you, too have other options.
I volunteered at many such workshops, at least 20, and got a bit frazzled at least once during most of them. I never did actually kick any chairs across the room, though, so at least in my case, that strategy of inviting sanity to "somehow occur" to me did seem to be working.