Hi Martina,
I took Zyprexa briefly and it had exactly the same effects on me.
I got off it and took combination antidepressant/mood stabilizer which has been good.
You might need both, and there are lots of choose from. I am sure they will let you try something else. Perhaps this time they can wean you off even more slowly.
I think trying to find some new meds that work for you (even if it takes time) is a better option than the other health risks you describe.
Best of luck to you!