Quote:
Originally Posted by pachyderm
Sometimes that will bring on an attack from the other person. I think it would have from my mother when I was a child. So you might have to be prepared, or as prepared as possible, for that possibility. You are doing good work, but that doesn't mean others will always see that.
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Hi Pachyderm,
I'm feeling defensive right now.........
LOL!!!!!!
Now that you mention it . I see you may be right . I guess my expression may not help either . Because I strain to focous I have a permanent two line fisure between my brow that makes me look angry even when smilling . or just thinking So .
got any other suggestions ? on what else to do . I think In Chaotics thread IN the abuse section there was a mention of using hand signals . So maybe just saying it to myself "I'm getting defensive " and a hand signal.
but then theres silence and you have to set up ahead of time what the signal is about . I have a phone friend who would get very angry at me when I woud go silent . Get verbally angry. Your going silent again I'm going to hang up and would . even after I tried to tell him I couldn't help it.
thats not a problem any more because I seldom call.
I never looked at defensiveness as a reaction of emotional fooding but it is actually, and its not being caused by the other person its more my reaction because of the flooding .
I belive, now that I ponder it a bit.