My "lawn" is over a foot high as the youngest broke both riding mowers going too fast. My hubby had a tantrum as the puter not letting him send an email. I didn't run down to help s he shut off the machine. My friends are coming to fix the belt on one mower and look at the other. I really am sad now. Money worries, the fact that I just want to be left alone worries, children's health worries. Don't like when hubby is angry with me but I just didn't feel like running downstairs again. That and the fact that I used to enjoy computers and programing and hard ware and now I want to throw the whole mess out the window. I decided, unbeknownst to my family, to try to sell off their older lap tops as we desperately need money during this time. i don't think they will kill me. I am a hurting pup, behind on work and feeling like a great flub. Worried about money and kids. Hey, we have food to eat, the wonderful little grocer lets me charge and I usually pay him every week or so, not now. We have internet and a nice bed and great pets and HEALTH. I am simply caught off guard by the seriousness of Hubbie's condition and the recovery time. I know it will be okay. So we are going to get the hay field mowed. My friends have been so very dear. I know that they are there for me. I should not complain. I just feel a need for comfort is all. I want to be held and rocked and forget I am this big adult with too much responsibility. I have friends who can fix my lawn mowers!!!!!!!!!! Sorry guys, I am self-centered. Did I say earlier that son has kidney, urilogical issues? Daughter having hormone (serious) issues, and the other daughter's boy friend's family thinks it is fine for her to spend the night at his house or in a motel with the family. Ummm, NO, she is 17 and she needs to sleep at home. I am just in a bad space is all. Hope it will change. Maybe I can figure out that cloning thing huh?