Thank you all for your kind and supportive words. It can be very difficult as i'm sure most of you know. I have been told the same thing before, it sounds like abuse. I'd hate to think I am in this type of relationship and everything he has said to me was in the "honeymoon" phase and just to keep me here. That's one of the things that hurts so much, i love him and hope he means it when he says it to me too, but who knows. Whether it's BP or not, is that an excuse and can this change? I'd hate to think I was taken for a fool, I really want to believe he loves me.