Griffe,
Your feelings are understandable and I'm glad you are able to share them here.
Getting them out is one of the most beautiful gifts you can give to yourself. It's so terribly hard trying to ride these things out.

Jme, but I felt the same way about any celebration about both of my parents. They were not my abusers; they abdicated their responsibilities towards me and let me fend for myself.
Much of the bitterness has been left behind, but I had to face it before I could do anything about it.
Yeah, it was painful and I hated every minute of talking about it.
It was also one of the best things I ever did for myself.

Catherine