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Old May 02, 2009, 07:34 PM
del12 del12 is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2008
Posts: 198
Quote:
Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions View Post
I can relate to what you're going through. One of the things that my T warned me is that my friendships and relationships will change as a result of me becoming more assertive.

I started creating boundaries with my husband....and he lashes out. He is resisting the changes that I've made....but I am sticking with it. He will not be permitted to treat me the way he wants to treat me. He will only be permitted to treat me the way I want to be treated. And if he doesn't, then communication is over.

Same thing with the issue with my neighbors last night. I literally threw them out of my house. In the past, I would either be passive and let them say what they wanted even if I disagreed....out of fear and low self-worth. I am still struggling with that, but I realized last night just how far I've come. Once the discussion with my neighbors became confrontational, argumentative, and something I was not comfortable with, I told them they could leave. They were absolutely stunned! I then forcefully told them to GET OUT OF MY HOUSE....and the backlash I got from them was NOT nice.

I am not happy about the repercussions that I'm about to face....and I fear how this will play out as far as my daughter goes...especially since these are parents of her friends.

But I am in the process of retraining those around me that I will only accept being treated a certain way. And if they don't like it....then that's on them.

Easier said than done.....I never thought I'd get this far, but I am making progress....And as scary as it feels, it's not as awful of a feeling as backing down and allowing myself be treated in a way that does not feel good to me. I am worth more than that.

Good for you ! I am finding the same resistance with many of my family members. This week I did stand up to a co worker who has gotten it in her head that she could do no wrong and that it was okay for her to be condescending and rude to others. Well she piped up at a meeting being sarcastic and rolling her eyes and I called her on it. Of course she acted like she didn't know what she did wrong and tried to get the others to back her. (I used to just sit there and listened to her and cower thinking that there was nothing I could do) Much to my surprise the others actually backed me up and said to her that we didn't need that kind of behavior amongst us. Wow I was stunned. In the past no one had the guts to stand up for themselves and she got away with it. She to will learn that everyone needs to be treated with respect and I am learning that I need to treat myself with respect! Who knows if she will go crying to the administration as she has done before.
Thanks for your post