This is not the secret for me at all. I controlled my emotions very, very well and stuffed everything inside. I had to learn to let out the emotions instead of controlling and hiding them. It took me forever to even get started on being able to do this. It was very slow. I had this fear that if anyone saw me sad or crying, they would think I was weak and take advantage of me and stomp on me and make fun of me and humiliate me. So that made me keep it all inside with an iron fist. I feel a vast sense of relief now that I have learned to loosen up and feel things as they are happening and not be ashamed that others might see me. Now it seems so obvious--why should I care if someone sees me cry? But it did not seem obvious at all earlier. And a huge benefit I have found is that it took so much emotional energy to keep everything inside, and I didn't even realize that. Once I gave that up, I had so much energy for other things in my life! Positive things. It feels really great.

That is something to ask your therapist and she will have ideas on how to do this. It is a big task, but it so worth doing! Good luck.