Ok guys, here's something I didn't think I'd be posting at this point, but here goes. How do you talk to your son about masterbating? Any experiences?

My son's to turn 14 in August. Caught him last night in a situation I'd like to describe as "typical teenager". He thought everyone had gone to bed and was on the couch in the family room. I had been outside late into the evening on the deck. He flipped on one of the Cinemax channels which shows some moderately sexual shows in the late evening. I didn't let on that I saw him but as I came into the room, I made enough noise to let him know I was there.

I wouldn't have minded a dad to talk to about it (at least once) when I was a kid. My adoptive dad died when I was 6. A generation apart, he would have been in his late 70s when I turned 13 or 14. I just don't know if I should bring it up now or just let it die. We have found downloaded movies on his computer and do check out what he's getting into on the internet. But I know there are lots of ways to avoid being caught, so I would like to try to handle this in a way that is healthy.

When I was a kid in the late 70s and 80s, we had magazines. Now, the internet and tv is like a wild west in terms of porn and "implied" sexuality. Even the beer commercials are better - I mean, sexier... - than when I was a kid. I would like to teach him to limit his urges, if at all possible.

Still haven't mentioned it to the wife. If I do, it may become more of an issue if he knows "everyone knows". Some things I want to do (tell me if it's too much). I want to put on more parental controls on the TVs and limit internet access somewhat. Of course I can't stop his interests but I want to make it healthy before it becomes too "objectified". I also need to get him out of the house more and spending more time with people. He's going into 9th grade next year at a larger school - he will be in a new world there than he is now. Dating will be starting at some point too.

Kids grow up and this is a normal thing, I know. The thing(s) I'm worried about are partly my own feelings towards sexuality and becoming objectified vs. loving and nurturing. He's in a better place emotionally and personally than I was as a kid - but is still a kid and I do want to be a parent who cares in this situation.

Any tips?