It may help you to learn the difference between rage and anger. My therapist has been teaching me this.

Rage is related to violation and to being trapped and helpless. It is NOT helpful to express rage. What helps rage is to heal the underlying hurt, abandonment depression and abandonment rage. My therapist is slowly helping me do with by reducing the charge of certain memories which get triggered in the present.

Anger is healthy and appropriate to express. It clears the air, it points to the truth of how things are and in relationships worthy of your energy, working through conflict helps you grow by leaps and bounds.

Some people are not worth working it out with--it's best to not associate with them and accept your limitations.

This is a current lesson for me now in my own life.

It helps to have your loved ones remind you--that they are NOT your perpetrators--and that they care for you as a human being.

If your friends and loved ones judge you harshly for your anger, and if they punish you and shame and blame you, it takes longer to heal.

We all need healthy corrections--especially those of us who grew up parented by total incompetents.

I have seen my own therapist get through to me in a loving manner, and I have benefited from three friends who helped me work through a very difficult time.

The work is on-going for a lifetime. There is no relax and eat bon bons if you've been abused.

Take care of yourself,

sky